the glories of being single

There are a lot of good things about being unattached. You can go out with anyone, anywhere, anytime for as long as you want. There’s no need to worry about having to text someone letting them know of your whereabouts. No need to tell nobody nothing. Everything screams freedom!

Spot a cutie checking on you and you would never feel guilty eyeing him back. It’s exciting how conversations get to be more interesting when both parties know they’re single and ready to take on each other… I mean mingle..

It’s insane how you become loaded with messages/calls from people you barely even know. Sending you the weirdest most outrageous pick up lines. It’s good how you get loads of invitations to the latest movies, clubs.. that’ll get you all booked up for an entire week. They’d bring you food, treat you our for dinner, walk you home, meet your mom, hangout with your friends, a wholebunch of stuff that will make you feel todo importante.
Being single cant be that bad. Yes it’s true.

But it’s not all glory being single for too long. Sometimes you’ll feel like there’s this big sign hangin on your back with the words – ON SALE 50% off – in big bold letters printed on it. Your tita’s suddenly become pimps selling you off to what they term as eligible bachelors from whom they see a bright future is in store for you. Which most of the time they turn up to be a real bore who has james-ingram-ish sort of music blaring off in his company provided Altis. Or worse! Men who put on colorless Caronia on their insanely merthiolated finger nails.

Then there are good friends who would start matching you up with fellow singletons who tragically ends up to be real perves, they’ll creep you out for life. Hold on to your panties!!

You suddenly become flooded by admirers (only because others are taken) who surprisingly turn out to be overly demure, they literally needed to be pushed by their buddies to get them to talk. I’d tell you, if they had long hair, they’d tuck it behind their ears as a habit and batt their eyelashes.

Then there are the vicious ones.

Right-kind-of-wrong types.

Remember how grandma used to remind you not to do things coz they’re bad for you? But you refuse to listen all because it feels right – then they’re living examples of it. You know they’d do you no good but you’re still there yearning for more. Imagine ol’ granny comin down from the heavens just to beat the wits out of you if she had known.

I’ve been single for so long and I’m lovin it. But the truth is…

when things get tough or when you just have the worst day, whatever silly things women’s hormones come up with. When all you reeeaally need is a tight warm hug.
Only then you’d realize…

That it is always nice to have someone.

*** written way back. Just thought of posting it now J

the way i know love

I am not the kick-ass chick you see in cinemas on one of those girl power action flicks. but i do believe that we all have the capacity to be the lead stars of our own lives. regardless of gender... I've always been aware that its not easy for a girl to have it her way when it comes to matters of the heart. See, in filipino culture especially.. girls are meant to just sit around and wait for guys to like them enough to pursue them and eventually be their boyfriends. You're just lucky if you get spotted by someone you like back.

I just dont think thats fair!

How come a guy gets to choose who to pursue and a girl's option are down to those only who pursue them? What if none of them is really her type?

Worse thing about it is, even if a girl says no a million times, guys just never give up until her ever so fragile weak lil heart finally says "yes". Let's give it a shot.

Girls never get the chance to try and win the hearts of those they like. It's like they just have to pick whatever it is that's been set in the table for them.

In the modern world of today, a girl must know how to play fair. But then of course, expect the worse when tables are turned. To make a man fall for you, you have to be as tough. Be willing to put up with anything. Heartaches, rejection (in-your-face rejections), disappointments, jealousy and endless roller coaster ride of emotions that might really lead you hurting..

In my quest for true love, i have endured all possible pain one single tough ass chick wannabee could possibly experience thinking that all my sacrifices shall reap rewards of a happily ever after finale with the prince charming i've always loved in the beginning.

of course i dont always turn up victorious. In this battle you must know when to fight and when to stop. In the end it's always something you learn so much from.

I am not a big fan of destiny, serendipity, fate, soulmates or any of the life-is-a-one-big-masterplan crap where you shall only meet the one that's truly meant for you.

Soulmates are true but you dont expect them to fall from the heavens straight right down to you with a tag saying "I AM YOUR SOULMATE" plastered on their foreheads.

Yes, you might bump into them in the meat section of the grocery dept. or be reachin out for the same hardbound cover in National Bookstore. But they'll remain strangers unless you make "something" happen. You have to take control. Why else did God give us hearts to feel and brains to think with it if we dont put it in good use?

We can come up with ways to get whatever it is our heart desires, just like men do!

Sure the universe can conspire with the cosmos and the stars in gettin you and your soulmate into one place. But in real life, it rarely happens.

We dont live a staged play with scripts and directions. Life's a mess. you decide. you choose. you struggle. You dont wake up each morning to watch your life happen before you. Dalagang filipinas' traditional ways of batting thy eyelashes by the window hopeful for a potential kasintahan to pass by and start chopping woods and fetching water for em -- has totally gotten out of trend. I'm not saying that women should attack their man like a prey if they see em. I just think there's nothing wrong in trying to win their hearts through.. say..a decent catchy conversation or a few toss your hair that-a-way, by bringin them their favorite food, givin them compliments. Any subtle but to kill moves that can leave em starin in blank space thinkin about you. And when the time is right, be not afraid to express your feelings.

It's nice to think that Love comes in mysterious ways but you wouldnt wanna think that way after you reach 30 something old, would yah?

If you see the man of your dreams hangin around the corner, it wouldnt hurt to show him that you are actually interested nd worth hell a lot of his time! Who knows? You might have chanced upon your soulmate. It wouldnt be bad to give fate a lil hand!

the dEviL speaks great english...

Excuse me. when did gettin dissed off by amboys became so happening? It has been weeks since Houdini left and that dreadful night had come to pass. For the second time from the first blow-off experience I’ve had with the devil himself comes another "shooo" encounter from the spawn of satan slash amboy contender#2.

"the fallen angel" - you always want what you cant have

After weeks of not hearing anything from him, i checked his "space" formerly devoted as a means to declare to the entire universe about the exclusivity of our relationship. only to find out that he (the guy who right now, i really dont think he deserves to be called by his name) had changed not just his status (into single) but anything that has to do with me was erased. E R A D I C A T E D. he practically removed me off of not just his page but out of his life. we broke up without even me knowing.

"the magician" - now you see him, now you dont
houdini's shove away style compared to hellboi caused me heart attack. it's not just the feeling of rejection i get but also experiencing the actual..obvious ways of bein ditched that not only me could apparently see but other people as well. (it's as humiliating as publishing this online.) just like good ol houdini who could free himself from locked up rooms with padlocks and chains all over him or from being burried alive inside sealed caskets... houdini jr.'s good in running away soon as he could sense any emotional attachment.

sometimes we wonder why species of the opposite sex can slide their way out of any relationship just like that... perhaps its because men are more logical and women are more emotional. aside from bein driven by ther testosterone, their brain take precedence over matters of the heart. they can get away from anything in a snap. I do not think that all men were created to spread havoc to womankind. No I don’t think that men don’t grow up. I don’t think that the difference between pigs and men is that pigs don’t turn into men when they drink. LOL (hail those male bashing emails!) ok. Pardon me for being too bias, It’s just the way I feel at the moment. Truth is, we dont want to wind up with people whom we know would do no good but grill and mash our hearts in the first place. Sometimes we just fall for the wrong reasons or the wrong time OR fall for the devil and suffer the consequences. the devil can be anywhere in the face of the earth. he may seem like a heavenly creature with flashy wings and halos. he could even magic his way into your heart... he could be anyone..
for me, the devil seem to speak great English all the time..

modern day goddesses

I have been spending an extremely interesting time with my girls lately and i realized how strikingly powerful women really are. The image of the strong independent femme fatale once was just a superficial concept of Pepsi commercials but is now realized and actualized by everyday real women. This is evidenced by those groups of girls you see down the coffeeshop, unafraid to discuss objective and open-minded topics like SEX, for example.

Yes, people, I said it! SEX! And there is nothing objectively wrong with it. And FYI, there's a big difference between getting in touch with your sexuality and sexual promiscuity. These girls happen to be brave and mature enough to discuss sexuality in public places. That's all.

As for leisure these girls also prefer shopping at the malls rather than lying next to the doormat at home. On average weekend nights, while plain Jane is reading romance pocketbooks and fantasizing about her wedding day, these fun-loving girls rock the dancefloor!!! You know you see them there in tha club dancin in groups, shakin their booties...
They're the ones who make you wonder how come they don't have to be lesbians to know how to have so much fun with each other.

They don't bore you. In fact they constantly amaze you in relishing the thought that they might just beat you in Playstation 2. Or that they're just so competitively versatile that you could wow your work colleagues when you invite these girls at your company's next cocktail party. These energetic and flexible girls can go as far as sharing girltalk with all your 9 sisters down to camping with your rough-ridin hippie buddies at the Himalayas mountains.

These girls are real, and although they could get along with Saddam Hussein if they want to these girls are masters of their own lives as well. They are not ashamed to speak their minds nor are hesitant to leave abusive, unhealthy relationships. They are the ones who enroll in culinary class not to impress you or their mothers-in-law but simply because they find interest in learning a new skill!

They are not all about seriousness and properness, mind you. They also have their wild sides . Many times they may just be carefree and silly and adventurous and playful all for the sake of joyfulness. So if you find these attributes intimidating for a girl then you don't deserve to understand them. Instead, Go get yourself a nun!!!
And although they may seem like the happiest people in the planet remember that they have feelings too. The thing is that you don't hear them running around town chanting about their emotions because they know pretty well how to handle their feelings.

If you have them into your lives you'll realize that they're not there to change you. Nor give you ransom notes on relationship needs and demands because they are very secure about themselves already. It is also a waste of time for them to bombard you with lectures on commitment, loyalty and any of those Jerry Mcguirre crap. They believe that it is already a non-verbal assumption that both parties must be sensitive about these things right from the beginning.
By the way, do not underestimate their massive abilities to understand by lying to them.

That's a big no-no!

These girls are strong and smart and can pretty much handle any truths. And besides, who're you
kiddin? They have superhuman powers from Motha Nature. It's called INTUITION!

And if by some very unfortunate freek instance that you happen to break their hearts, take them for granted and hurt them it is unadvisable to expect that they would jump off the Empire State building. Trust me, it's not gonna happen! They would probably just smile at you the next time you see them. They find no value in vengeance because they know that your sins are your own punishments.

They are and will forever be the ones who stand out. The girls whom you measure everyone against but somehow nothing even comes close to what they really are to you. Things will never be the same without them. The malls, the coffeehshops, the bars, cocktail parties, campings or even the simplest things like your own bed are just never the same.

So if one day luck is on your side and you get the privilege of having them back into your lives cherish them! Treat them the way they truly deserve. Afterall, they're the modern day goddesses. *wink*


--karla-- ~janie~beech~frex~fe~ai~ina~nana~

who stole my magic???

I just finished reading this marvelous book from Jenny Manuel and it's amazing how women can actually view breaking up in a totally different perspective. Sure breaking up is hard....being dumped is dreadful! However, in some cases what's even more difficult is to wake up one morning and find yourself in a relationship used to be that BIG and sweet and serious to feel no longer the same. You know it can’t be happening.

You try to think things over. Refresh your mind of memories of your great love. Read on his letters. Stare at your pictures. Watch your funny videos when surprisingly after having been doing all these things, there's still no trace of magic comin back.

You think about the years you've been together, this kind of relationship and strong bond you've already established with his family, the things he's done for you, the sacrifices you've made in the past just to make things work. And yet there still no sign of magic comin back.

You narrow down to conclusions like -- maybe it's just the distance and communication crisis that had triggered the sudden depletion of this magic potion as we may call it. Perhaps, all you need now is a lil space and time (although in my case, I've more than enough of it). You venture to some never never land to find yourself searching for answers and yet all you can ever come up with is nothing. NADA!

Now the realization finally dawns on you-- that things had been different. And you know soon enough life with him and commitments will begin to tear away. There's just no point of bringing back something that no longer exists.

The magic had just worn off.

T’was a fairly fine evening...I was listening to an upbeat house music when he called up totally unexpected. I knew that was it. I've had it in mind and in my heart that it's no longer in the 'works' for us but I’ve just been chickening out the past months. This time, before things get even more complicated – I had to do the deed. Somehow I felt like he had an inkling of what's gonna happen as there were unusual awkward moments and long silent pauses. “Gurl speak up before the call cuts off!” I told myself.

I gathered all the strength I could ever muster given the fact that I’m the weakest person you'd ever know when it comes to things like this. But there seems to be a big lump stuck between my throat I couldn’t speak up. It's strange that in the middle of chaos, you still managed to think about the most appropriate words. Phrases. Sentences that'll imply your intentions yet would sound the least hurtful.

Sadly there's none.

No. I’d rather not spill the details as it may cause deadly goose bumps to the reader. The point is—I…drama queen (ok I couldn’t think of the most politically correct word) “dumped” him. Right there and then.

They say being dumped is tragic. True. But dumping someone because you know for sure that things are not and will never be the same is even worse. Especially if you know that both of you have had so much history goin.

People would start asking questions. Why??? It’s retarded. Really!

Asking someone to explain why they don't love you no more is like trying to explain the concept of world wide web to an ant. In such same way that words could not fully explain why you love someone, they will always come up short when trying to explain why you don't.

Feelings fade. And for reasons not instantly comprehensible relationships end.

It is strange indeed. Although I initiated the break up, the aftermath wasn't easy at all. I had to swallow in major changes and accept the fact which I thought would be impossible way back - that I’m actually on my own now. It was torment knowing that you've made the most important person in the past 4 years of life feeling miserable because of your change of heart. Feelings you didn’t mean to lose but lost it anyway…

This may sound really cheesy but even if your love is not reciprocated, the fact that we can love and be loved is a gift in itself. Joy, pain, pleasure, misery- they all come in one package. Important thing is that we don’t become bitter. Instead see life in a totally new light.

You'll see-- love is never sought in the people around you. The magic simply lives inside of you. Y